Parenting is the most rewarding - and the most frustrating - job in the world!
Even though we know our children 'model' our own attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours in order to survive and grow, they turn - seemingly overnight - from adored and loving babies into the alien race from the planet 'Teenagers'!
At either end of the age spectrum – and in the middle! – our children can challenge us in all sorts of ways.
From screaming toddlers to surly teens, if you're at your wits' end as to how to re-establish communication with your children and get on together, then New Oceans Parenting Coaching is definitely for you!
The Five Pillars For Inspired Parenting
We are much more likely to achieve our goals, our outcomes, if we can have a really clear idea of what it would actually be like when we got them………. to ‘experience’ them in advance! Suppose you could go ahead in your mind to when you’ve achieved real communication skills with your previously monosyllabic children, helped them to get on with you and each other, - then “look back” and discover how you did it!?
What if you could go ahead in your head six months, or a year, from now, to when you’ve solved the behavioural problems of your children, their tantrums, and find out, again by “looking back”, what steps and actions you took, what obstacles you overcame to do it? They say we only learn from experience - well using the Outcomes process means you can ‘experience’ something BEFORE doing it - and so make really informed choices, and decisions!
This is about ‘reading’ your children - being aware of how they respond to the world, how their minds prefer to deal with the sights, sounds, emotions, sensations, etc., that bombard us all every minute of our lives. Developing this skill will give you, literally, a head start in forming and maintaining great relationships with them, understanding what drives or repels them: and you’ll also notice how attracted they become to what you want because they feel good around you!
Why do we sometimes seem to get so stuck in our own views, so apparently closed to our children’s world? It’s probably because we’re not flexible in our thinking. Even when we’re doing something that obviously isn’t working, we still keep doing it!
And if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got!!
Flexibility is about being willing to try new ways: to change direction if you’re not achieving what you want the way you’re doing things now. For example…. supposing your children are caught up with a group of kids who are doing things you’re not comfortable with, and shouting at them or punishing them isn’t making any difference - it’s about being flexible enough to suspend being judgemental and reactive, and becoming proactive by giving your children the model of your own flexibility to help them move away towards a more compatible set of friends.
Do you let other people - family, teachers, work colleagues, your own children, affect your emotions? How often have you said things like, “He made me feel so angry”! Or, “She really knows how to press my buttons …it makes me feel so frustrated!” Well State Management gives you the ability to always be in the best possible emotional state - by choice! No- one can MAKE you feel anything - you can choose how you respond, how you want to feel at any time! If you want to be confident, for example, going to that Parent-Teacher meeting, or to be calm when you need to handle a family crisis, with this pillar you CAN be…….just like that!
Getting on with people is a necessary part of life - family members, teachers, work colleagues etc. Realistically, we can’t actually LIKE everyone - but we CAN get on with them, if we have the skill of rapport. It’s all about showing respect for someone else’s point of view, opinions, beliefs, before rushing in with our own! Because then even when you disagree with your children over something - and as parents, we naturally feel we know best! - by respecting their right to their own ‘map of the world’, their own views, before asking them to consider ours, they’ll be far more likely to do so, because they’ll feel we’ve honoured what’s important to them!
It’s like learning a foreign language - people generally feel more comfortable with you - and even more open to getting on with you - if you speak to them in their own language.! And that applies to our children, to their teachers, their friends - and to all the other members of your family who will benefit from, and unconsciously role model, your improved rapport skills!
How can you benefit from parenting and life coaching?
Do you want your children to have high self esteem?
Do you want your children to be able to motivate themselves to achieve their goals?
Do you want your children to develop exceptional skills for learning?
Do you want your children to understand the potential consequences of their actions?
You know that you need to make changes in your parenting and life. . . but perhaps you don't know how or where to start. …. That’s where we can help..
“It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is be a role model for them by reaching for it myself” - Paul Jacobs
© NEW OCEANS 2012