Many people come to NLP for freedom from
limitations. NLP provides a way out of old habits, fears, limiting beliefs, and
gives a structure for new and empowering ways of being in the world.
One of the
benefits of NLP is more choice: in how you respond, the way you communicate, and
how you feel. When you have more options, you can make better decisions. If you
have not been living the life that you want, or getting the success that you
want, NLP offers you a path to new
and satisfying alternatives.
So how does it work?
"NLP
is how we use our brain"
NLP describes, in very precise terms,
the images, sounds, and feelings that
make up our inner and outer world. How do we know what we know? How do we do
what we do? For example, how do you know that a pleasant memory is pleasant? How
do you know when to feel scared or happy at certain
times? How do you like or dislike something? How do you learn a subject
easily, or not? Sometimes people describe NLP as "software for our
brains"
NLP is about how we
"code" our experiences. When we understand the specific ways that our
brains make distinctions, then it is easier to make changes, to learn, and to
communicate effectively.
"NLP
is about communication"
One of the principles of NLP is that we
are always communicating, and most
of our communication is other than words. The question becomes: " What are
we communicating?" Is what we intend to convey the same as what the
listener understands? If not, how do we recognise the cues and adjust? NLP
de-mystifies the communication loops at home and work and gives us practical
skills for becoming highly effective communicators.
"NLP
is about how language affects us"
Language affects how we think and
respond. The very process of converting
experience into language requires that we condense, distort,
and summarise how we perceive the world. NLP also provides questions and
patterns to make communication more as we intend. NLP teaches us to understand
how language affects us through implicit and embedded assumptions.
"NLP
is not only about communication and language but most importantly it’s about
modelling excellence"
NLP processes are a result of
discovering how experts or excellent leaders
do what they do so well and teaching those skills to others. Modelling skills
are at the heart of NLP. Learning the specific
components of how others do something well will provide you with new
options.
"NLP
is the study of internal experience"
NLP is a tool to understand how an
individual makes sense of the world, and studies
individuals' experiences: how they perceive the world around them and how their
brain makes specific distinctions for them. It does NOT assume that we all do
this the same way. In NLP we know that each person has a unique style of
learning, perceiving and responding to the world. NLP is inherently respectful
of differences.
How
will learning NLP Benefit Me?
NLP is invaluable in arts and
entertainment, consulting, therapy, management, health professions, sports,
parenting, creative pursuits, education, training and development, sales,
negotiation, writing -anywhere communicating and excelling are important!
Artists, writers, and performers find
NLP training enormously beneficial because NLP offers unique and valuable
insight into what inhibits and what enhances the creative spirit and ability.
Applications of NLP strategies provide powerful ways to free and stimulate your
creativity, enhance communication and rapport–building skills, to set
compelling outcomes you want – and achieve them. Specific skills for dealing
with people who perceive the world differently than we do will help improve
relations with co-performers, directors, and audiences, in fact everyone with
whom you come into contact.
The personal change work processes in
NLP are unique in their scope and power, which is why it has become acknowledged
to be “the difference that makes the difference”.
The
Beginnings of NLP
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) began
in the early 1970's when John Grinder, a linguistics professor at the University
of California, and Richard Bandler, a student of psychology and mathematics,
asked themselves the simple yet fascinating question:
"What is it that makes the
difference between somebody who is merely competent and someone who excels at
the same skill?"
This question and the answers they found
have evolved into a vast body of NLP knowledge that is renowned for its
effectiveness in achieving results.
The first people modelled were
therapists: Virginia Satir, Milton Erickson, and Fritz Perls. Bandler and
Grinder specifically modelled their language, physiology, and mental processes,
then identified patterns (rather than theories) which could be precisely defined
and explicitly taught. In the years since, many valuable contributions have been
added to the field.
The
World of NLP
Today there are training centres around
the world teaching NLP skills. The comprehensive set of skills is taught by New
Oceans and The Rainbow Journey as NLP Training, and is offered as 4-day Diploma
and 18 or more full days of Practitioner training. Early in the program
participants learn the important skills of:
-
clarifying goals and objective
-
establishing rapport
-
developing states of excellence
-
changing self-defeating patterns of
behaviour
-
checking to ensure any desired changes are appropriate for all parts of life
-
clear and effective use of language
-
self-rapport and optimum creative performance
Some larger training centres including
New Oceans offer an advanced training and certification called "Master
Practitioner," as well as specialised classes, such as NLP leadership
skills, negotiating and conflict resolution skills, NLP presentation skills, and
NLP personal growth processes.
The world of NLP is international in
scope, especially in the fields of creativity, therapy, education, and business and health. Several journals chronicle new
discoveries in NLP. There are hundreds of books with an NLP focus and many new
books are published each year.
In addition, there are therapists,
counsellors and consultants around the world trained in NLP and offering private
sessions for personal change.
NLP
Principles
The principles, often referred to as
presuppositions, which form the foundation of NLP have been modelled from key
people who consistently produced superb results, as well as from systems theory
and natural laws. As well as a set of powerful skills, NLP is a philosophy and
an attitude that is useful when your goal is excellence in whatever you do.
A few of the principles are listed
below:
1. We are always communicating.
Words are only a small part of our total
communication. Facial expressions gestures, posture, and voice quality are key
components of non-verbal communication. Even when we remain silent, we are
communicating. An effective communicator pays attention
2. The
meaning of your communication is the response you get.
While your intention may be clear to
you, it is the other person's interpretation and response that reflects your
effectiveness. NLP teaches you the skills and flexibility to ensure that the
message you send equals the message they receive.
3. There
is no failure, only feedback.
What seemed like failure is usually
success that just stopped too soon. With this understanding, we can stop blaming
ourselves and others, find solutions, and improve the quality of what we do.
4.
If what you are doing is not working, do something else.
If you always do what you've always
done, you will always get what you've
always got.
5. Choice
is better than no choice.
The system or person with the most
choices or flexibility has the best chance of success, survival, and/or
influence.
6.
Anything can be accomplished if the task is broken down into small enough steps
or chunks.
Though a major project can seem
overwhelming at first, defining and sequencing the steps can make it more easily
achievable.
7. Behind
every behaviour is a positive intention.
By understanding that people have some
positive intention for themselves in what they say and do, it's easier to stop
getting angry and stuck, start to move forward, and enjoy more flexibility and
grace.
An
NLP Sampler
1.
An example of how language affects us:
First a little bit of the
"linguistic" part of NLP. "Do NOT think of a blue striped
elephant."
What did you do in your brain? Most
people think of a blue striped elephant, then try (in vain!) to think of
something else. In order to make sense of the words, our brains have to recall
an experience of the very thing that is being asked NOT to do. This simple
understanding has many implications.
Telling someone "DON'T worry"
can start them worrying! Instead, let them know what to do, such as: "Enjoy
your afternoon!"
2.
Changing feelings and behaviour by changing how you think:
In order to gain the most benefit form
this exercise, take a couple of minutes to fully participate in this small
example of how the structure of your thoughts influences your emotions and
behaviours.
First, think of a specific pleasant
experience you've had. Focus on the part of the experience that was really
pleasant for you. It might be something simple that you do regularly, or it
might be a special time or event.
Some people will have a clear image of
the experience and some people will have a sense of the experience. Either way
is fine. Just enjoy it now.
Next, notice what happens if you bring
the experience closer to you. Now make it a bit bigger. Now make the colours
even brighter. How do those changes affect your feelings about that memory?
Now, move the images far away. Make the
image dim and grey and small. How does that affect the feelings associated with
the experience?
In closing, now put the brightness,
distance, and colour back the way you like it so that you leave that memory as
pleasant as you'd like.
People report that their feelings change
when they change the colour, brightness, distance, and size of the images. You
can neutralise unpleasant memories just that easily. Most people do not know
that they can immediately affect their feelings and behaviour just by adjusting
the components of how they think.
And once you have NLP working for you,
not only will your life improve, it will also recolour your creativity.
Some
Useful Books
DON’T
THINK OF PURPLE SPOTTED ORANGES – Martin Shervington
FROGS
INTO PRINCES - Richard Bandler & John Grinder
HEART
OF THE MIND - Connirae & Steve Andreas
INTRODUCING
NLP - Joseph O'Connor & John Seymour
MANAGE
YOURSELF, MANAGE YOUR LIFE - Ian McDermott & Ian Shircore
NLP
& RELATIONSHIPS - Robin Prior & Joseph O'Connor
more on NLP