So let’s address the whole subject of Stress, at the different logical levels.
Look around you, at where you live, work. What’s happening in your immediate and personal environment? Are other people affecting your life too much, or maybe even controlling it?
Worrying about what you can’t alter is just wasting your energy – use it on a different option, one you own or can take ownership of. Be more proactive, less reactive. Take back control of your life.
If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got – so if this is causing you to be unresourcefully stressed, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!
If your behaviour is actually creating your Limiting Stress, think about this :- there have been times in your life when it wasn’t the case…. go back in your mind to one of those times. What were you doing differently? What was the difference that made the difference, that brought about motivation in you, not restriction and disempowerment?
Notice what the strategy was that you used then, and ‘map it across’ to a stress-related situation. When something works well for you in one area of your life you can apply it to other areas. This gives you more choice; being aware that you do now have more options creates more opportunity for flexibility; being more flexible in your behaviour will create more options; the more options, the less stress.
You are brilliant at imagining the worst scenarios, at seeing trouble ahead, hearing the words you most dread, experiencing emotional pain in advance! What if you were to re-direct these wonderful skills? Now you will see blue skies and calm flat seas instead of storms; hear birdsong rather than thunder; feel confident and in control – by creating in your mind the outcome you want, and living it in your head, experiencing it, literally, IN EVERY SENSE!
You’ll immediately be aware of the positive shift in you that has come from using your fantastic sensory strategies in a solution-based, rather than a problem-based, way.
VALUES, BELIEFS, & META PROGRAMS
The main thing to realise is that we get most of our main beliefs and values very early in life, by taking on – modelling – those of the adults around us. These beliefs and values become the ‘whetstones’ on which we hone our inborn VAK preferences, and our metaprograms which are a result of nature and nurture.
We form our maps of the world accordingly, forming our strategies for survival: and they serve us well, until some big event happens in our lives, and causes us to begin doubting, panicking because we seem to have lost our ‘survival kit’.
Now the inner struggle grows – one part of us with the ingrained pattern and habit of the old belief, another part doubting it. Result? Incongruence, leading to Unempowering Limiting Stress.
On the other hand, strong beliefs and values, underpinning our metaprograms, our personality types, give us the sense of being in control of our own lives, and energise us. Result? Energy flow = empowerment = less Limiting Stress!
We can change our beliefs, re-prioritise our values, and develop wider metaprogram and VAK preferences, which will all help to ‘un-stick’ us, to INcrease our options and thereby DEcrease Limiting Stress.
The five senses that we use to filter all the information entering our minds, of which one is usually our preferred sense, are Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, Olfactory, and Gustatory ( Smell & Taste).
However, it is the sixth sense, the Sense of Self, which is most connected to our potential for Stress, either Limiting or Empowering. Because the Sense of Self is linked directly to the Auto-Immune System, and to our internal representative parts – our Inner Team members.
So how we think of ourselves affects how we talk to ourselves and directly impacts on our health, mental and physical. Which is how statements like “I can’t…”, “I mustn’t…”, “I’m depressed”, “It’s all too much for me”, “It’s driving me mad” etc. – all first person statements – affect us so deeply.
All of them are at Identity level, at which we’re associated into all the emotions of a situation, and it’s therefore very hard to shift. However, by ‘dissociating’, i.e. moving down from Identity level to a lower one like Behaviour, an impactful positive shift becomes much easier to achieve.
For example, “I am depressed” is an Identity statement; whereas “At the moment I am experiencing depression” puts it at Behaviour level. ‘Depression’ becomes a nominalisation, a process, implying it has a beginning, a middle….and AN END! It has a finite time, underlined further by the use of the words “At the moment”.
BEYOND IDENTITY – MISSION/PURPOSE
This is where we are in the higher realms of ourselves, this is the level of our spirituality, our inspiration. It is where we function less for ourselves and more for others. It is our sense of purpose, and our point of connection to all Creation.
Developing at this level dissociates us from our problems to where we trust in our potential for solutions. Becoming more congruent – aligning all our Inner Team members – raises us to this level, and diminishes Limiting Stress. It is at this level we become aware that Limiting or Unempowering Stress is a result of our Inner Team members in discord, pulling us in opposing directions.
Empowering Stress is when they all agree to do different jobs to achieve a joint outcome on our behalf. This is what I call Active Congruence: Passive Congruence is when all agree to do the same thing, and is like a meditative state. It is a state we naturally and healthily move in and out of – if we were permanently in it there’d be no external action! And if all our Inner Team members were always doing the same thing what would have been the purpose of having a team at all?