Give me 3 minutes and I will show you why people don't understand you, and how to change things so that they will.
When was the last time you had something you said taken out of context? Were you aware of it at the time? Was the result of the misunderstanding a delightfully humorous interaction, or a totally infuriating disaster?
We all can relate to the very human experience of being taken out of context. Once you become consciously aware of it you will probably do your best to rectify the situation.
What most of us are less aware of is when something we have said or done has been taken out of process.
Please allow me to explain.
Has this ever happened to you?
Picture this scene:
You're driving along in your car when you come to the conclusion that you're totally lost. After passing the same location several times you realize you desperately need help.
Fortunately, you see a friendly soul walking along the footpath. You pull over and immediately jump out of your car with street map in hand hoping that your new best friend will show you the way.
With total disregard for your map, he begins to tell you how to get there. After listening to a long-winded explanation you give a polite smile, thank him for his time and return to your car. You grasp the steering wheel saying to yourself, "Now I have no idea which way to go."
So what just happened?
For the sake of the example it was assumed that you prefer to process things visually; that you learn best by seeing the information.
The man on the footpath fell into the very human trap of believing that you processed information the same way he did. Being more auditory, he prefers to hear instructions and therefore thought that it was best to tell you how to get there. Unfortunately, his auditory message of just telling you was ineffective. If he had known how to 'stay in process' he would have given you a more visual message, a combination of showing you on the map and pointing the way. You would have been given a clear picture of how to get to your destination.
The above scenario may seem like just a minor example of two people not quite understanding each other. Unfortunately, being 'out of process' with others can have dire consequences especially when it is ongoing.
Children at school who are given the label ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or LD (Learning Disability) often have a High Kinesthetic External Representational System. What that means is they learn best by physically doing. They need to be physically active so they can literally grab hold of the information. A visually inclined teacher who is not aware of this may attempt to have them sit still and look at the blackboard whilst she shows them what they need to know. This results in the students either being bored and disruptive or compliant and non-learning.
When the genius, Albert Einstein came up with the Theory of Relativity, he said, "I felt like I was sitting on a light beam." Research indicates that Einstein had a very strong Kinesthetic Representational System (learns best by doing or feeling). Einstein was labelled a 'slow learner' at school. His teacher said that he would never amount to anything. Could it be that the 'chalk and talk' approach from many teachers of his day was unknowingly 'out of process' with Einstein's Learning Style?
Is it possible that you could be a budding genius? Have you been held back because there was too much emphasis placed on what you should learn and not enough on how you learn it?
Can you relate to any of the following?
- are a teacher who is frustrated by the fact that some of your students aren't learning and becoming disruptive
- have a great product or service but only minimum sales
- have argued with others only to discover in hind-sight that you were saying the same thing
- are struggling with a particular subject at school or University
- find your staff are misinterpreting your instructions
- have wasted huge amounts in advertising dollars
- realize your presentations lack charisma
- are a Counsellor who is concerned that you are not helping your clients as well as you could
- don't understand your parents or kids
- find it difficult to build rapport with key clients
- know intuitively that your ad copy is missing a vital ingredient
- can think of other examples of miscommunication that you have experienced,
...then it is highly likely that you have been 'taken out of process'.
So what is the answer?
How do you turn a problem into an opportunity and reap the benefits of getting back into process with others?
In short, you would need to:
A. Be able to recognize the different processing and learning styles, and...
B. Know how to cater for the different styles needs.
The challenge is that in the past most systems that came close to being able to achieve these 2 objectives required complicated tests and assessments that took hours to complete. This is obviously not terribly practical when in the 'real world' you need to know the information almost instantly. Can you imagine asking the man on the footpath to fill out an assessment form before giving you street directions?
What you need is a simple and direct method that is easy to learn and use immediately.
Which brings us to...
VAK Training - Your new insights into Learning
VAK is an abbreviation for Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic (see, hear and feel), 3 of the 6 major ways people process information.
With VAK Training you'll discover...
- how to recognize the different processing and learning styles in an instant without the need for complicated tests or assessments
- a simple proven formula that shows you how to cater for the different styles needs
- how to overcome the challenges of being 'out of process' with others
- the secret of getting people to like you without being manipulative
- how to set up your classroom or presentation for optimum learning
- how to enhance your communication on both a conscious and unconscious level
- how to improve your selling whether face to face, on the phone or in written communication
- how to elicit the strategies of top performers in your chosen field, so that you can get started on achieving similar if not superior results now.
Join us at the next VAK Training seminar: